So as I mentioned in my last post, I have low progesterone: kind of, I guess. I mean, I took this hormone test one time, and my doctor said I did have low progesterone, as well as whacked cortisol, testosterone, capital letters, and vampirism. Okay, she didn’t literally say the vampirism thing but I assume that’s what she meant when she mumbled various other hormonal inadequacies.

It was not as though I was surprised; my depression is supposedly a hormone disorder after all, and now I had this chart conveniently detailing explanations for just about everything that ever went wrong with me. Weird periods? Low progesterone. Hard time sleeping? Out-of-sync cortisol. Pimples? Warts? Often feeling cold? Sugar craving? Hormones were the explanation for everything! Hooray! I was saved! All I would have to do is take a pill and everything would be fixed, right?  Yeah, maybe not so much.

First of all, I had to drive like an hour and a half to this tiny maybe not-so legit pharmacy that was the only one in the area that would give me the special blend of stuff I needed. That was a little sketch. Then the fact that it came in a brown prescription bottled wherein the only thing written the label was “hormones” gave me pause. Finally, after taking the pills for a week and raging into two unreal screaming fits, I decided maybe this is not quite the right cocktail for me.
“Oh did I not mention that supernatural bitch extravaganzas are a side-effect of the medication?” my doctor sweetly intoned.
So clearly “better” has several levels of meaning.
The real problem with the low progesterone is the problems it causes for pregnancy. Low progesterone may be a cause of miscarriage, can be treated with clomid, but that of course has side effects in and of itself. While I was having my hormones checked to verify my miscarriage, I registered a 3 on my progesterone level. Pregnant women will need at least a 9 to sustain a pregnancy.  Studies have shown that women with depression are more likely to miscarry than other moms. Fortunately, low progesterone is pretty easy to treat which is definitely worth a try.