Tips for talking about serious mental illness with kids

Disney’s movie Encanto has basically taken over the planet. The film’s colorful animation, engaging characters, and delightful humor are what audiences have come to expect from Disney, but Lin Manuel’s Miranda’s music rockets Encanto into a national obsession. The nuanced lyrics of the movie’s hit song, “We Don’t Talk about Bruno” not only has everybody singing, but has mental health experts around the country raising their fists in solidarity. For too long, our society has avoided the topic of serious mental illness, but thanks to the film’s character Bruno, people finally have an opportunity to hold long overdo conversations.

The movie Encanto centers around the magical Madrigal family. Unlike the other characters, Bruno who possesses the ability to tell the future, is not a revered member of the community. His extraordinary behavior has upset the people of the village so much that Bruno is forced to leave. At the beginning of the film, the community recoils even at the mention of Bruno’s name.

This story mirrors the experiences of many people who suffer from psychiatric disorders. Cultures around the world have historically viewed psychosis as a supernatural ability. Bruno’s visions, whirlpools of extrasensory stimuli that force him to pull meaning out of chaos, are similar to a psychiatric break. In his day to day life, Bruno behaves like a person with mental illness. He is quiet and slightly disheveled. He talks to himself, and compulsively observes rituals of knocking on wood and throwing salt. Much as the community has abandoned Bruno, society has abandoned the mentally ill, too uncomfortable to even mention the topic above whisper.

Despite society’s hesitancy to confront serious mental health issues, most elementary aged kids are familiar with psychosis. Schizophrenia is everywhere in children’s media, from the super villains in Arkham Asylum, to Belle’s father in Beauty and the Beast, various characters in the Harry Potter Series, and elsewhere. In his 2003 study, ‘Mental Illness in Children’s Media’ notes, Professor Otto Wahl,,  “Children are soaked in unsympathetic images of mentally ill individuals – ‘crazies, schizos, nutters or loonies’ – who are described as mad, bad and dangerous’, he says. ‘Then in adult life, when they encounter a close friend or relative with depression or schizophrenia, they cannot cope or help.”
That’s why it is important for parents to educate their children about serious mental illness. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) notes that educating children about serious mental illnesses not only “decreases stigma and builds compassion for people with mental illness” but also leads to improved recognition and early treatment for children who find themselves struggling with mental health issues.

Bruno provides a gentle and compassionate way for children to learn the realities of mental illness. An easy starting point might be to simply ask the question Mirabel herself is asking, “Why don’t we talk about Bruno”? Kids might answer that Bruno scared people, or that he embarrassed the family, and you can point out how in the past people like Bruno would be considered mentally ill, and might be treated the same way. Below are some tips to keep the conversation going.

Tips: 

1. Be sure what you are telling your children is based in fact. You don’t have to be an expert to talk to your kids about serious mental illness, but you do want to avoid reinforcing hurtful myths. Check out this article by UNICEF Parenting about common misconceptions.
2. Be honest, and compassionate. People who suffer from schizoaffective disorders often believe things that don’t make sense to other people, and can act in strange ways. It is okay for people to acknowledge that. Bruno is kind of weird, but also wonderful! People who deal with psychosis have made wonderful contributions to our society. We must remember that the seriously mentally ill are still people who are struggling with very difficult illnesses. 
3. Don’t use jargon. Derisive terms for mentally ill people, like “crazy”, “psycho” and “nuts”, belittle and devalue the challenges that the mentally ill face, and make them sound more like monsters than people.
4. Talk about stereotypes. In the song, Mirabel’s cousin sings that she was frightened of Bruno’s “stuttering and stumbling” because he said things that the family did not understand. Explain to your children that many people are confused and uncomfortable around psychosis, and so society often portrays the seriously mentally ill as unpredictable, dangerous, or even demonic. Just as Bruno was very different from the malevolent man described in the song, the seriously mentally ill are very different from the stories told about them in popular culture.
5. Talk about treatment and accommodation. Let children know that serious mental illness is not much different than medical issues like asthma, peanut allergies, or any other physical conditions. With proper care, they act pretty much like anyone else; they live and work all around us. However, just as a person with diabetes might act strangely without the right kind of treatment, a psychiatric patient might act strangely if they do not receive proper care. It’s important to be sympathetic when a person is struggling, but kids should also recognize that people with health issues are not much different than anyone else.

Society has a tendency to focus our discussions on the more comfortable topic of mental health, or socially acceptable disorders like ADHD or depression. It is time for us to move beyond that. Avoiding the topic of psychosis is not healthy for anyone. Children know about psychosis. Parents have to educate kids on the realities they will face as they grow older, not only in the broad context of society but possibly within themselves. Let’s take a cue from Encanto, and finally have the discussion that will make our communities whole.